I’m not a fan of the banquet. Or the cruise. Or even the traditional wedding. Ugh. In fact, my definition of hell might be sitting at a big round table, surrounded by strangers, and listening to speeches.

But as grown ups we are called upon to do things we aren’t crazy about doing. So a few weeks back, I put on some nice clothes and headed out to sit with strangers at a big round table.

Clearly I’m an introvert, but also an optimist, so I put on a smile, sat down with the strangers and attempted to make conversation, real conversation.

I had heard the gentleman to my right mention his 13-year-old daughter. Bingo! Since I’ve got one of those too, I figured immediate connection. Wrong.

He told me how his daughter was perfect. Fabulous grades, perfect clothing choices, never a moment of drama. And then he gave me a few parenting tips. “Just say NO.” “Offer guidance.” And other forgettable pablum.

Of course I didn’t buy it. Nor would anyone who has ever lived with a 13-year-old girl. There’s a reason why junior high teachers whisper the phrase ‘Grade 8 girls …’ They are afraid.

I love mine to death. She still calls me mommy, holds my hand, and tells me her secrets. But she (and all others her age) is pre-programmed by Mother Nature to have hormone-fuelled meltdowns at the drop of a hat.

So why couldn’t my round-table stranger open up and share an authentic story or two about life with a teenage daughter? What holds us back from real communication?

When we fail to open up, to tell real and honest stories, we fail. We lose trust and we lose our audiences.

When we are real, transparent, honest and, yes, authentic, our stories are more compelling. Our audiences want to listen and trust starts to build.

Trust is key to the survival of a friendship, a marriage, and a brand. That’s why I urge my clients to be authentic, to tell their stories in a personal and open way … share the fabulousness, the successes and the warts. This sharing builds trust. Trust builds loyalty.

With gratitude,